Understanding the Growth of INFJ: A Delicate Journey

'An exploration of why the growth experience of INFJ is often like a slow boil, similar to boiling a frog in warm water. Analyzing the subtle traumas and their impact on INFJ personalities.'

Why the Growth Experience of INFJ Is Like 'Boiling a Frog in Warm Water'. If you ask an INFJ about specific childhood traumas, it's hard for them to point out a major one. Unlike those optimistic and cheerful people around them who might have experienced significant events like parents' divorce, death of a relative, being excluded after transferring schools, or having surgery at a young age. In comparison, what INFJ has gone through seems insignificant. They may feel that they are overly fragile or not realizing their blessings. Because those who have truly experienced childhood traumas seem to face life with great strength and optimism. INFJ's sadness and depression may seem like making a mountain out of a molehill. Essentially, INFJ experiences 'being ignored'. Their needs are not taken seriously. In various matters, their feelings and opinions are not considered. Or we can say their needs are not respected. For example, if an INFJ wants to buy a balloon when seeing one on the street in childhood, their parents or companions might laugh at them. Saying things like 'This kid wants to buy a balloon. Other kids don't ask for this.' In the end, whether INFJ gets the balloon or not, they won't be very happy. They are likely very young at that time and naturally express the desire to have it when seeing the balloon. But the response they get makes them confused. They can sense that the response is not friendly and contains elements of ridicule. However, INFJ doesn't quite understand if it's normal for a person to laugh at a child like this. After all, they didn't beat INFJ up. And if INFJ's parents are nearby at this time, they usually won't stand up for INFJ. They think it's just a small joke. So INFJ becomes even more confused. INFJ chooses a coping method they will often use in the future - they endure it. But if they were an S-type personality, they might be very painful at the moment. When such things accumulate, an S-type personality might agree that this is normal. But INFJ's endurance is to store this incident in their memory bank. They take a mental picture of this incomprehensible event at that time and store it in their mind along with the atmosphere. So when INFJ grows up, they can recall many people and events. Similar events are like 'boiling a frog in warm water'. It doesn't hurt at once. INFJ can't even tell how unforgivable these things are. But bit by bit, their trust and dependence on people will drop to a very low level.