Understanding Love Crisis in an INFJ-INTP Relationship

An INTP girl shares her experiences and challenges in a relationship with an INFJ man, highlighting issues of self-centeredness and the need for change.

Love Crisis and Insights on INFJ's Romantic Needs

As an INTP girl, I've been in a relationship with my INFJ boyfriend for three months. Due to the pandemic, we haven't been able to meet in person, which has created a sense of落差感 compared to the passionate early days of our relationship. Lately, we've both been caught in a cycle of relationship内耗情绪.

The specific manifestations are that I feel he has become colder than before, which gives me a sense of落差感. I can accept the change from the passionate stage to a relatively more equal stage in a relationship. However, perhaps the pandemic has magnified this sense of anxiety and落差感. When I talked to my boyfriend yesterday, he mentioned that he felt I wasn't as attentive when we chatted. For example, when he was not feeling well, I only told him to lie down. In contrast, his friends asked him why he was unwell and if he had any medicine. The difference in attitude between friends and girlfriends made him feel a sense of落差感.

I also realize that sometimes I am too self-centered and don't think about others. Or maybe I think I'm expressing concern, but others don't notice. So what kind of care and attentiveness does an INFJ need?

I have to admit that being too self-centered is a problem that I need to change. I am currently working on it. I hope the people I love can feel that they are loved by me.

As an INFJ, I used to be full of love for the world. But interacting with an INTP has opened my eyes to the 'evil' side of human nature. Excessive selfishness and self-centeredness are the most despicable things in my eyes. I hope you can develop more Fe. Otherwise, based on your description, I think it will be difficult for you two to last.

I understand the importance of change and am determined to improve. I believe that with effort, we can overcome these challenges and build a stronger relationship.