ISTP's Growth Experiences and Reflections

An exploration of an ISTP's growth journey, including living in different environments and dealing with family dynamics.

ISTP's Growth Journey

ISTPs, let's share our growth experiences. Maybe these experiences have shaped us into who we are.

I grew up with limited time spent with my parents. From kindergarten to primary school, I lived with my grandparents and rarely went home. In middle and high school, my parents went to another city for work. As my grandparents got older, I moved to a boarding family. I had my own single room in a stranger's house with meals and lodging provided. During those years in the boarding family had a significant impact on my personality. In primary school, I would cry hysterically every time my parents sent me to my grandparents. But in middle and high school, in my single room at the boarding family's place, I felt at ease with the door closed. I would find my own entertainment, read magazines, and yearn for the outside world. I had my own inner world. From then on, I thought my peers were so childish, only knowing how to play foolishly without thinking about the future or life. But even though I thought this way, I actually got along well with them. My classmates said I was very funny.

Later in college, I was rather unconventional. I passed CET-4 in a not-so-good college and started a business, making a little money. My relationship with friends and roommates was that I could play with anyone but I didn't open up to them. After my father passed away during college, I now live with my mother. She is like a narcissistic person, narcissistic and with an empty heart. As soon as I get home, she keeps nagging about this and that. I've become very good at dealing with her. I just say 'mm-hmm' or can chat with her without really listening. But it's tiring. I just want some peace and quiet. Moreover, because of her narcissism, she often criticizes me. For example, when I was wiping something with a rag, she would say, 'Let me do it. You can't do it well.' Another example is when I was losing weight some time ago, she kept saying her weight loss method was good and mine was not, asking me to follow hers. Of course, I didn't listen. During college, I was depressed and saw the school psychologist for two years. During that time, I realized that many of my problems were not mine but my mother's. So I fought back for a long time. We would have arguments every few days. Now it's much better.

In general, living in a boarding family in middle and high school gave me my own inner world. As I grew older, my mother's constant criticism made me less inclined to show my inner self. I like to keep things to myself. And because I keep many things to myself, I also think others should do the same. Don't come to me with trivial matters. It's very tiring. But at the same time, I'm very lonely. I'm so lonely that I'm used to it. And I also feel that there is no love to give me strength and support. I tend to give up on things easily. I hope I can change.

We all have our unique growth journeys, and sharing them can help us understand ourselves and each other better.