The Sensitive INFJ Single's Observations
An INFJ's sensitive nature allows them to easily detect others' true feelings. This post shares an experience with a blind date and reflects on the struggle of finding true connection.
The Sensitive Radar of an INFJ Single
As an INFJ, being single can sometimes feel like a unique journey. The sensitivity of an INFJ is often compared to a radar, especially for girls, as the intuitive sense is even stronger. It's like having a superpower that allows us to keenly perceive the emotions and mental states of others.
For instance, I had an experience with a blind date recently. He invited me to his company. Not knowing his work environment or atmosphere, I went there. I sat quietly for a while and browsed through some books. Suddenly, his colleague teased that everyone became quiet because of my arrival and said they were afraid to disturb me while I was reading. I quickly responded, 'No, no, I don't want to disturb everyone.' But then, the blind date patted my shoulder and echoed the same thing. At that moment, I was really frustrated. We weren't that close. And he always pats people's shoulders without even addressing them. It made me feel uncomfortable.
During our time there, he didn't talk much to me. He just asked if I wanted snacks from time to time. I declined. We were both bored playing with our phones or reading. I had mentioned twice that I had a fire in my body and there was a big pimple on my mouth due to the fire. I even brought a cup of chrysanthemum tea. But he still gave me spicy snacks and ordered spicy dishes when we went out to eat. It was clear that he was only interested in my qualities such as character, education, work, and appearance rather than truly liking me.
When he asked about his personality during the meal, I said I knew he was an ISFJ. He then asked if I was an extrovert. I was rather annoyed. He had known about my MBTI when I asked him before, but he didn't seem interested.
I also found it difficult to understand his explanations about his colleagues' workstations. As an INFJ, I often criticize myself. At first, I thought it was my fault for not understanding him. But then I realized it was his unclear expression. I had to ask him to explain based on the people I saw that day instead of going on about the past.
In the end, I directly told him that there was no spark between us and it was unnecessary to continue. He was still unconvinced and said, 'Aren't you slow to warm up?'
As an INFJ single, we can easily detect whether someone truly likes us, their level of affection, whether it's genuine care or just polite instinct. Through their words and actions, we can quickly figure out where we stand in their eyes. There seems to be no need for伪装.
Is the saying 'the next one will be better' or 'there are still good boys in this world' just a form of self-deception or self-comfort for singles like us?