I Don't Want to Be an ENTJ Anymore

Struggles of being an ENTJ and the impact on life.

I Don't Want to Be an ENTJ Anymore!! Seriously, It's So Annoying!

Whenever I come across MBTI's 16 personality types, ENTJs are mostly praised, envied, or even yearned to be by others. At one point, I was quite satisfied with my own personality. In the eyes of my friends, I am independent, have a mind full of ideas, and am resolute and decisive in both relationships and work.

But now, I've had enough. This personality even causes me pain at the moment. My desire for control and my high efficiency in execution often put me in a state of anxiety.

At work, as soon as a task is assigned, I must start working on it immediately. I complete it at my fastest speed. Even if I'm already very tired on that day, deep down I really don't want to continue working. However, if I don't finish it, I simply can't sleep. I keep thinking about it non-stop, and I feel very uneasy.

What's even more extreme is that before submitting a document, I will keep checking it many times. Sometimes, even after I've sent it, when I open it again, I might find some very small issues. Although they're not a big deal, I must correct them and resend the document. At that time, I couldn't stand myself, but I just couldn't control it.

When encountering a problem, I must find the best solution as quickly as possible. Otherwise, I will be restless and anxious. My mind keeps thinking about various solutions to this problem and I can't focus on anything else. When hanging out with friends, I can't fully immerse myself either and often get distracted.

In the past, when I was in school, it might not have been so serious because the problems I faced were small and there were only a limited number of things I could control. But as I grow up and develop, I realize that there are really very few things that people can control. Everything is constantly changing. This is the root cause of my anxiety. I desire certainty too much and want to control everything around me. Whether it's a plan or a problem, I want a definite answer, but this is simply impossible.

Now, this has had an impact on my life, making me feel very painful and anxious. I think my personality is too impatient. I also want to take things step by step and be more laid-back, but I just can't do it.

Now I'm really annoyed every day. Although my work progress hasn't been delayed at all, my mental health has been seriously affected.